Of course we think of Dad on Rosh Hashana. As a sort of joke to myself, what popped into my head after duchenin and walking back to the sanctuary on second day was "my father was the carrying kind of Levi, not the singing kind of Levi." Duchenin is the ritual where the Levites wash the hands of the Kohanim (Priests) before the priestly blessing. It only happens on holidays in America. I'm embarrassed to admit that I can't remember the last time I duchened alongside my father.
Besides ministrating to the Kohanim, the Levites principle duties were carrying the mishkan and singing/playing instruments on the steps of the Tabernacle. [You may correct my poor Torah knowledge where necessary]. Anyone who knew my father, bless his soul, knew that he had a bad voice. I mean, it was pretty terrible. I'll never forget those times he got carried away during Kabbalat Shabbat and would sing along. You know, of all the embarrassing things my Dad did, that wasn't one of them. I liked when he got carried away by the spirit of the prayer. I remember that about him, in his pew in Shomrai Emunah. And its why I have not been singing Kabbalat Shabbat since he passed even though it is my favorite thing about religious Judaism (and at some points in my life, the only thing).
My father was a burden-bearer. I see it clearly now that I have a daughter. Parents are burden-bearers. Maybe especially good fathers. Love for children really makes you able to carry heavy things and do unpleasant and otherwise unrewarding work for long periods of time. So that is why I see my father as a mishkan-carrier rather than a singer/guitar player.
Being a Levite has always been very meaningful to me. And that was passed through my Zayde, to my father, then to me. I'm not certain of the substantial duties that are involved with being a Levite, they probably no longer exist anymore except as ritual. But its somehow very important to my identity. Never had I spoken about it to my father even once...
I could see him banging on some random instrument they gave him too. He was a sport and would go along with it but given the choice, he'd definitely elect something exotic and atypical like a didgeridoo.
ReplyDeleteReading Menachem's message reminded me of a time when Avi z'l & I were young marrieds,BC-Before Children, & we were in Coney Island, at the big synagogue near my in-laws (Mayeer, please supply the name when you have a chance-not the little shul further from their home where there was that sad, unnecessary, big fight), & Daddy & Mayeer stood on either side of the chazan (cantor) to lift him under the arms (echoes of Aaron & 1 of his sons helping to hold up Moshe's arms during a battle-Amalek?) & help the chazan (cantor) rise to standing before the word Melech ('King) after bowing to the ground in the middle of Aleinu ('On us', a prayer)during musaf (add'l service). I thought, yes, that is the kind of Levi Avi would be--attempting in a vital way to help others do what they need to do & do it as well as they can without drawing attention to himself or even expecting a thank you.
ReplyDeleteI never thought Avi had a terrible voice, not great, but not unpleasant. I think, & may be repeating myself, that part of the miracle of Meshiach (Messiah) coming would be that all the Leviyim (Levites) will become objectively good singers, or we will subjectively hear them with different 'ears' & appreciate them with a new perspective, or, as JKK wrote (Who's JKK? 'Spot on' insight), Avi would learn to play a new instrument-horn, cymbals, a didgeridoo would do too--& all those piano lessons that his mom paid for with hard-earned wages as a mattress-cover maker & all that practicing that he hated & would rather be playing basketball after a long day at yeshiva (Jewish day school) will come in handy.
Thank you, Menachem, for the lovely message--it prompted a bittersweet memory for the new year. Hugs, Mom/Nancy